grown.

so over this juvenile bullshit, anyone who thought i was a bitch before is gonna want me dead now. i know my honesty was harsh at times but i actually thought people would respect that. fuck this, i'm over being the nice bitch, you call me your 'best friend' then turn around to your partner and say you can't trust me, then come running to me about your problems. if you can't trust us, i hope you end up alone and when you come crawling back to me like you've been doing these past six years, i'm just gonna kick you to the ground and laugh. bitch? damn straight. you arseholes made me this way.

- jae.

tired.

so tired of listening.
so tired of reading.
so tired of talking.
so tired of everything.

i wish i wasn't so tired of it all. sometimes i wish i didn't have anything to be tired of. but then where would my life be? i guess it brings some sort of excitement to my life. but that's just sad. maybe i'm just thinking too much, that's probably it. i get like this some days and it bothers me. i wish the people i used to have were all still here. it's like i don't know myself anymore without them around me. they were my life, and now they're gone. thanks a lot.

- r

skank.

we may be two of metros biggest skanks. look out little boys :X LOL

grow.

whatever you think. it's probably not true. i want to get over this, and know that things are better. they don't need to be "good", ever. too much has been said and heard and frankly if you don't like what you hear, you should actually put it aside and ask. i don't bite, unless i'm drunk (sorry sago and mervyn!). you may not like me, and that's your choice. just don't go thinking that i feel the same. because i am not you. think for yourself. it helps.

- r

back.

it's like this. rewind, fast forward to where it stopped. and that's where we are. is this going to be a fairytale or a nightmare? only time will tell.

- r

deathtron300.

today i ate a burger. i'm pretty sure it was starting to make me hallucinate, shake and give me the shivers. like i was getting sick, or pinging. it was some fucked up shit. no joke.
you take the first bite, and its like "oh yeah. it's all good bit hot." second bite is like "goddaym this thing is getting fkn hot." third bite is like "OH MY FUCKING GOD GET ME A FUCKING DRINK BEFORE MY FACE LIGHTS ON FIRE AND I STICK MY HEAD IN A MOTHERFUCKING BUCKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!" so, in saying that. i went and grabbed a 600mL carton of chocolate milk. i had 11mins to eat this fucker, instead i used that 10 remaining mins to drink my chocolate. my mouth was burning so bad that i had to rip open the carton to get more milk in my mouth. that plan didn't work, coz i ended up tipping all the milk down my top.
meanwhile, meng and ea shared the less hotter one. ea was fine. meng on the other hand was sweating, he looked like he got rained on. george had already eaten his burger.
meanwhile! stupid me had touched my fucking eye with the fingers i ate the burger with! minh told me not to touch my face, but i'm an idiot. so i raced to the toilet and washed my eye out. i seriously thought i was going to be blind in one eye. and i was crying in agony. i came back out. and all i see is george and ea sweating as much as meng was. they cried and died too :) EOS.

presence.

i miss you. come back for a little while please. i just want to be in your presence, just for a while. like the way it used to be.

-r

Just the way you are.

His eyes make the stars look like they're not shining
His hair sits perfectly without him trying
He's so wonderful and I'd tell him everyday
I know if I compliment him, he won't believe me
It's so sad to think that he don't see what I see
But if he ever asks me "Do I look okay?", I'll say;
When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole stops and stares for a while
'Cause, boy, you're amazing just the way you are.
His lips, I could kiss them all day if he'd let me
His laugh, he hates but I think it's so sexy
He's so wonderful and I'd tell him everyday
You know I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same
So if you ever ask me if you look okay, you know what I'll say..

- jae.

trust.

and now i don't know where i stand. or where i want to actually. because if i get too close again it just might blow right back into my face. "be careful of who you get close to. because one day you'll get on their bad side, they'll remember every secret you told them. everything you confided in them. and they'll use it to their advantage." so basically, figure out who you can, and cannot trust. coz it's one of the most important things in every relationship. but i guess that's just common sense right?

on another note, i don't know what it's gonna be like when you come back. are things gonna be weird? or should i just forgive, and pretend to forget? :S

- r

photo.

everybody wants to take pictures and photos with the ones they like/love just so they can have that memory of that day/moment in time. just so that when that moment in time seems so distant, or even just a memory, you can look back on it and remember all the good times you had. and all the good things in life. but in reality, why do you need all those photos and pictures? when the ones you really do love, are always going to be in your heart?

(unless you have a heart attack or die of course :X)

- r

down.

sometimes in life, the ones you thought that would never let you down are the ones that do. and the ones you expect to let you down, are the ones that don't. the ones that mean the most to me, are the ones that i don't know what to expect from. because even though everything appears fine from the outside, behind closed doors it's a whole different matter. what am i supposed to do now? when all i hear and see are as unpleasant as i can handle?

- r

expectations.

sometimes the best things that happen to you in life are the ones you don't expect. actually, scratch that. a lot of the time the best things that happen to you are the ones you don't expect. except maybe if you get prego with someones random child. although, looking on the bright side that actually could be a good thing. that baby may end up being the light of your life, and the reason for your existence.
but then there's times where what you never expected would happen, happens. and your life starts to crumble around you and you wonder how you got there. and how you're going to get out. i guess that's why i always know to keep myself protected from such unexpected things, so that when it starts to crumble i can just grab my shovel and dig my way back out before i die in the dirt. but right now i don't know where the fuck i put my shovel, so i'm hoping that not everything is going to go crumbling down. perhaps i should invest in a superhero too? :/

- r