blogs.

so, since blogging has finally seemed to go out of vogue, i've decided i'll break the norm. it's nice to have somewhere to get something out without repeating it to 3485684938745 people and seeming like a self-centered "me me me me me" person. by the end, the story would've lost all meaning.

so, in my last blog i stated that sometimes relationships last because people become accustomed to them, hesitant to leave and reluctant to change. true. recently i found myself in a predicament of this sort- a pseudo 'relationship' with a negligent asshole. it was purely for 'convenience'- nothing more, really. these 'convenient' encounters became more frequent, more complicated and become more than just mere encounters from my point of view- blurring that line between physical and emotional.

then i met someone who turned out to be a refreshing change in more ways than one. okay, his physical appearance isn't as aesthetically pleasing as past ones but lately it seems that he's been the best part of my day- even with just a simple text. it's a sad situation really, stuck between a rock and a hard place. i don't believe in 'love' enough to jump into anything so willingly- who's to say he'll still be the best part of my day a month from now? but i'm not prepared to pass on something that could potentially be amazing.

from another perspective, i could be seen as being cold-hearted and selfish. if i was in either of their positions i would be devastated to find 'that' person had found someone else or to find that i was blown away by someone with other 'commitments'. that being said, no one can honestly be surprised that any single person has someone on the side- it's one of the benefits of being single and if he had a problem with it then he should've done something to change it.

those are my conclusions, i refuse to let this riddle my mind and ruin what could possibly happen in the future. some may disagree with my decision to let this continue but the bottom line is- i am single. soon enough i'll throw rationality out the window. i'll only walk out that door and back so many times before i'll stop coming back, and you'll regret ever letting me go that first time. then again, who's to say i won't lock myself in and throw away the key.

the point of this sharing and caring?
- stop thinking too much, enjoy your prime and take advantage of it.
- don't restrict yourself because of silly rules or barriers that have been concocted by your doubts, insecurities and fears- they only exist in your mind.
- don't do anything because you think you should, do it because you feel you should.
- don't rationalise too much or too little, or be too impulsive.
- if it felt right the first time, it probably was. if it felt right the second time, it's probably because you convinced yourself it was.
- if you don't stress, there are no multiple scenarios and possibilities. there'll be no 'but's or 'what if's, there will only be what's really there.
- besides, stress makes you ugly and unattractive both physically, mentally and it'll come through in your personality.
- just do what you feel because you're the one who lives with the consequences and rewards.
- so long as you feel good, you'll do good and it will be good. :)


- jae.