naive.

i think i had an epiphany today. i've found myself quite unmotivated lately, in terms of uni- seriously, i'm like barely passing my units D: i feel like a hypocrite, friends always ask me about changing courses and if i ever regret wasting x amount of time. i've always replied "no, because now i don't hate waking up for uni because i don't mind what i'm doing" which is true but i think that, in the back of my mind, i'm going to keep regretting not taking that break after high school. i won't make excuses- it's not because i think i deserve it, i'm just a slacker that would've preferred to take a year off to work, travel and shop before going back to a routine i had already been doing for 12 consecutive years.
i told mama that i might not go back to uni next year, her being okay with this isn't making me want to try any harder but my mentality is that i have the rest of my life, or at least my 20s, to make up for a messed up semester or two of uni, i can't make up for not living my teens to the fullest. i know what i'm like, i'd regret forcing myself to study now and being discontent more than i'd regret coming back to my second year when i'm 20.
i guess no matter how much i protest the idea, at the end of the day i'm still a little girl who hangs off her mama's every word, eagerly waiting to be praised after every chore.. just because i do 'grown-up' things means nothing. call me a skank, hoe, whore, whatever. i really couldn't care less what you think, my extra-curricula activities keep me occupied enough ;) and even you seem to find them more fascinating than your own, i don't see why what i do behind closed doors should concern you- unless it's your boyfriend. to me, they're all just fun and games. i like fun and games (: oh, and ice-cream.. and cake :D i had ice-cream for breakfast today, omnomnom.

- jae.