complicated.

you don't make it very easy for me to love you. is it just the decisions i make or am i just a stupid idiot? i know i shouldn't be influenced so easily, but that was just a slap in the face. i guess people just don't get it. or maybe i just don't get. just when i think things are fine, everyone else thinks things aren't. is it just me or am i just satisfied too easily? what i do know is, we take each other for granted. and the day that we realise what we've done wrong to each other, it'll be too late to fix it. i don't want that day to come. but what can i do? things can never be perfect, and i will never expect them to be. i guess i should have higher expectations of you. but how do i have those higher expectations without trying to change you? there's no win in this situation. just complication.

so i've decided that my birthday isn't a very relative date at all and that it's not really worth celebrating. and seeing as it's not worth celebrating, i'm pretty sure half the people i expect to remember it. won't. i'm cool with that though. i don't have very good memory either. lol. clubbing is so ave. so why do i still go? i think i should invest in some sort of entertainment in my house besides my laptop and indonesian tv T__T

- r