too much.

i've always been an optimistic person. although i may not act like one, i am. the first thought i have of you will always be something ingrained in my mind. i'm up for meeting you, if you're up for meeting me. always :) give me a shit impression, and i'm sorry. but you're just shit. shit until you prove me wrong. it seems that it's always the opposite sex that give good first impressions towards me. i don't know why that is? maybe i look too bitchy for girls to talk to me? or maybe i'm just too black. lololol. either way i think i need to stop thinking the best of people and start to analyse their actions towards me thoroughly. this shit may get raaaaw! (theres a special way you're supposed to say "raw" so it would sound cooler. like yeeehaawww! LOL) anyway, to those who don't know me well enough wouldn't see that i sacrifice too many things for too many people. i think i should stop that, for my own good.

last night i realised so many things that i've been blind sided by for too long and talking about it made me feel so much better. like i had actually progressed in life and not just stayed in one stupid spot like what i had been doing recently. it's a shame when you see and know people that stay with their own bad habits and you know you can't help them but you can watch it all fall apart (hopefully into place though). sometimes in life huh?

- r