hm

i don't believe things last, i believe people grow comfortable and accustomed to situations; reluctant to leave because they hate the idea of change, difference and making it by themselves- love, dependence or just attachment? descriptions are irrelevant. different words, different connotations- essentially they're the same, it's all about perspective.
don't get me wrong though, i do believe friendships last but when you think about it a lot of them last because they're convenient. friendships have less obligations and consequences and much more freedom than relationships. i'm not trying to be negative, just realistic- that's why you find you're sometimes closer to some than others. don't get me wrong though, that's not to say friendships are selfish- i love my friends to death, i really do and i know they understand what i mean. as for those who don't, and take this offensively- grow up please, you are no high-schooler (unless you really are). stop trying to be in everyone's good books, it just shows how easy it is to get into yours and everyone loves a bit of a chase.


- jae.

simple.

i want life to be simple.
not have all these difficulties and complications. life would be so easy without them, and i wouldn't have to cry about things that may not happen for a long long while. but what else can i do? it's like i'm just waiting for the inevitable. planning on what i will do. when it will happen. who will know first. where will i put everything. just thinking about it, makes me upset. life is too short to worry. but i guess i'm the worrying type. i don't really like not knowing what's going to happen on the next page of a book. i'm the type of person that doesn't really mind when somebody spoils the movie for me, at least i'll know what to expect. no surprises there. but i guess life isn't like a movie. it barely is for anyone. i wish it was though. things would be so much easier. and someone could tell me what was going to happen in a few years from now. i can prepare myself, for the best and the worst. and i can get everything out of the way. but while i wait for the movie spoiler, i'll just sit here and dwell on all the possibilities of something fucking up.

- r

dream.

the same similar dream.
what does it mean? coz it's really starting to scare me now.

- r

action.

aren't you supposed to do what makes you happy?
why do people care so much about their actions and words?

because your actions, and what words you use may hurt somebody.
even if it was unintentional.

- r

selfish.

as much as i might say it doesn't bother me.
i guess it does. because at the end of the day, i'm just as selfish as you are.

- r

ughhhh

this lack of sleep is totally not helping me.
i'm so grumpy i could hit someone in the face.
not a wise time to be pissing me off.

- r

sighpie.

all the signs say it's wrong, but why does it feel right?
maybe i need to take a step back and look for what i want for myself because at the end of the day i should be making my own decisions.
although it's my own life, i feel so hesitant to live it. everything about it is wrong. i can't do it, and just let it go..

maybe the page needs to be turned, and looked at in a different perspective.
think about it, there is so much you can do without me. your life would be so much easier if you just followed the rules. mine would be too.
i think your vision is blurred, and you need to see the bigger picture.
look at what is right in front of you.

- r